those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
