Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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