I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
