That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
