I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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