I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
