We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize