I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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