Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
