Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nicole vs. Life
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
