two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
