What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
