they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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