I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
