I bet he comes in French.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
