if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
