That's intense
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
