I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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