i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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