I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
