the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
