Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
