Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
