Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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