Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
