Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
