And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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