I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
