FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
