Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Come share oat with me in your robe
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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