How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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