Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
