you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
