You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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