sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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