At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
