and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
