hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
