ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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