Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
