Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need to stop coming to work sober
it's like iHOP with fire
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
