I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
