Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
