You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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