I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize