i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
