I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
