There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
