By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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