he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
