Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
