Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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