Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
