why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Alive.
So much puke
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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