she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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