when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
