I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
