I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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