I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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