I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize