I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
