So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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