help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
