it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize