big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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