I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
