Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
