well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
