Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
