I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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