either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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