don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
the liver wants what the liver wants
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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