I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize