Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Houston, we have a squirter
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
