Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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