i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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