he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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