You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
