So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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