But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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