I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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