Yo dont text me then not text me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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