Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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