We named our party play list daddy issues
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
