you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
